We won’t let you go

Bengaluru has changed inexorably since I first went there in the 1970s. From a sleepy quiet town with empty wide roads canopied by arrays of evergreen trees, it has become a metropolis with monstrously huge buildings, fly-overs, under-passes, and perpetually choked roads on which flashy cars crawl like caterpillars. And of course, eateries and shopping malls. Bengaluru is also the public persona of modern India, it’s main IT hub, a city where millions of young Indians make a living. But for my wife and me, the chief attractions of the city are our two grandkids: five-year old Haroun, and Toto, who packs quite a punch in his two-foot frame. 

 

We were about to leave Bengaluru for Kolkata after two weeks of holiday. The children and their parents had come down to say goodbye. By the time we put the bags in the boot, the brothers had been right in the middle of the rear seat of the cab. They had decided to accompany us to Kolkata! We tried to reason, ‘You are going to visit us in just two months’ time. You ARE coming to Kolkata with your parents.’

 

‘We’ll come back with then. Till then, we’ll be with you.’

 

More reasoning: ‘But we don’t have tickets for you.’

 

Very graciously, Haroun said, ‘We’ll wait; you go upstairs and get the tickets.’ For him, tickets are always bought from a laptop. 

 

No amount of cajoling would make them change their mind. We were getting late for the flight, but the boys refused to budge. Ultimately, their parents had to resort to what newspapers would describe as a “mild lathi charge” to clear the way. 

 

Haroun loves to be with lots of people. And his younger brother loves whatever he loves. Once earlier, when we were leaving them with their parents, Haroun asked, ‘How can I live with so few people?’ 

 

He finds it strange that all the people he loves do not live together. He doesn’t believe any offspring should be separated from their parents, like his parents are now. On another occasion, he asked me seriously, ‘Tell me why it is like this? Why do children live in Bangalore but their parents in Kolkata?’

 

I didn’t have an answer to his question. But I certainly know this: He has just started going to school and in a few years, he will have been trained not to ask such questions.

 

Why do we grow up?

Kolkata / November 27, 2013

An unsung hero

There are three stages in a man’s life. As a young boy, he believes, ‘My dad knows everything.’ Then a time comes when he says, ‘My dad? He knows nothing!’ But inevitably, at some point, he starts telling you, ‘My father used to say ….’

Old proverbs are tiny urns carrying gigantic truths. Had my old man been alive, he would have been hundred this year, and yesterday was his thirty-third death anniversary. I still think of him. In fact, these days, I think of him more often and reflect on the bitter-sweet relationship we shared. Everyone is like Salvador Dali, no one dies entirely when they die. My father is alive in my mind, and in the minds of a few others.

My dad, who always wore khadi and smoked with a religious fervour, didn’t do anything extraordinary in life that would justify telling his story to you. Yet, I write this with a touch of pride because given the odds, the mere fact that he survived was extraordinary.

He had a tough childhood after losing his father at the age of twelve. Moving to Kolkata, he had to pay for college and university education himself. While still a student, he did everything from managing boarding houses to making rubber-stamps to drafting legal documents for businessmen to eke out a living. His boat continued to sail on choppy waters after the Second World War and Partition, which made things even worse. And as he fought a grim battle all his life, he had his moments of joy, but suffered terrible failures and indignities too. For as long as he lived, he lived with financial uncertainties.

But every evening, yes, every evening after supper, he would put his problems aside, retire to his study, and read until two in the morning. He used to read everything that came between two covers, except, fiction. For example, for a brief period, he got seriously interested in paleobotany. And he was always interested in the English language. Long ago when I didn’t know it, somehow, he managed to kindle an interest in English in my mind. If I am making a living by teaching English now, it is because of him. But sometimes I wish that instead, he had kindled in me an interest in making money!

Many a time I heard my baba quote these lines from Thomas Gray:

Full many a gem of purest ray serene
The dark unfathom'd caves of ocean bear:
Full many a flower is born to blush unseen,
And waste its sweetness on the desert air.

 Did he know that he too was an unsung hero?

A note to my students / 04 October 2013

Galileo Galilei, the father of observational astronomy

Every one of my students says “sorry” if they make a mistake while speaking English. Every one of us Indians are embarrassed if we speak incorrect English. But has anyone come across an American, Englishman, or Australian who is ashamed because he/she can’t speak perfect Hindi or Tamil?

It is time we threw this colonial baggage into a dustbin and accepted English for what it was. For historical reasons, English has become the link language of the world. Chinese aircraft pilots overflying Siberia communicate with Russian air-traffic controllers in English. To make a living in the twenty-first century, you must learn some English. But all that most people need is to follow written and spoken English and express themselves clearly in the language.

Therefore, there is nothing wrong if we commit mistakes in English, but we must try to write and speak as accurately and beautifully as we can. There are several compelling reasons why we must.

Firstly, if you are doing higher studies, it is imperative that you shape out your thoughts in clear and compact language.

Secondly, if you transact business with overseas clients, you should be polite and impressive. And unless you have a good command of English, you are unlikely to impress anyone.

Thirdly, anything worth doing is worth doing well.

I always ask my students to do two things to improve their language skills: regularly listen to and read good English, preferably a newspaper. But English papers published from India often contain incorrect English. It’s quite possible that you’ll pick up wrong language from newspapers. Here are a few tips on reading newspapers.

Firstly, choose the newspaper carefully. The Hindu and the Indian Express are two papers that I recommend without reservations. And I am sure there are others. For example, my friend Randeep Wadhera, who writes brilliant English, contributes to the Tribune.

Secondly, in all newspapers, the language is usually good on the front page and the editorial pages. But on other pages and particularly in the supplements, the language is often terrible.

An example 

Here is something I picked up from the Education Supplement of the Deccan Herald yesterday. A reader wrote: “I am studying in Class XII and am aspiring to become an astrophysicist. I would like to know which are the government institutes offering this course and how to apply. … How many percent of marks should I have to get a seat in government institutions?”

Let’s look at the sentences individually.

1. “I AM STUDYING IN CLASS XII AND I AM ASPIRING TO BECOME AN ASTROPHYSICIST.”

“I am studying in Class XII” is fine, but in the second part of the sentence, where the verb is “aspire”, we have a problem.

Verbs like aspire, know, believe, prefer, like, etc. are called state verbs or stative verbs. They do not talk about an activity, but about a state of your mind.

The verbs that talk about the existence or state of something too are state verbs. For example the verbs in the following sentences: “There ARE many excellent universities in India.” And: “Astrophysics IS a difficult subject.”

Another group of state verbs are the sensory verbs like feel, touch, etc.

In English, we do not normally use state verbs in continuous or progressive tenses. For example you do not say: “I am believing god is existing. X” You say: “I believe god exists.”

Therefore, you can say: “I am studying in Class XII and I aspire to become an astrophysicist.”

But remember, there are always excptions to rules. For example: McDonald’s slogan “I'm loving it!”

***

2. I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHICH ARE THE GOVERNMENT INSTITUTES OFFERING THIS COURSE AND HOW TO APPLY.

From the point of view of grammar, this is not a question, but a statement. The correct sentence can be – “I would like to know which government institutes are offering this course and how to apply.”

Better: “I would like to know which government institutes offer this course and how to apply.”

***

3. “HOW MANY PERCENT OF MARKS SHOULD I HAVE TO GET A SEAT IN GOVERNMENT INSTITUTIONS?”

This sentence can be rewritten in many ways. Here is one. “What percentage of marks will I need to get a seat in government institutions?”

Cheers.

Can India be redeemed?

If the ordinance to protect convicted legislators becomes law, the men who raped and killed Nirbhaya in Delhi can theoretically become your MP or MLA one day. It’s a shame that a government can even contemplate such a law. 

I think the thieves in the UPA in general, and the Congress Party in particular, realised soon after 2008 that they would lose the elections in 2014, and decided to make hay while the sun shines. Development and governance were thrown into trash cans and ministers and their cronies joined a gold rush. A series of mega-scams followed. Two-G, Commonwealth Games, Adarsh Housing, Robert Wadhera, Bellary, Coal, Sharda Chit Fund, … we Indians can suffix any goddamned noun with “scam”. There have certainly been many more, the august names I have mentioned are just the peaks. India is blessed with two great mountain ranges of the world, the Himalayas in the north and Corruption throughout its length and breath. Can we ever move the second mountain?

It was a welcome relief to read in today’s papers that Rahul Gandhi, the crown prince of the Gandhi Dynasty, says this ordinance should be torn up. Given the power structure in Congress, it will be. But it raises a question: is this a stage-managed show to propel the young scion into the election battles? Or is this a genuine conflict between the old and the new, the relatively uncorrupted and veteran criminals seeped in sleaze?

We don’t know the answer, at least as yet. But I have always thought that Mr Rahul Gandhi is a well-meaning idiot. I apologise for using the epithet in the public domain, but at times, you cannot make a point if you are politically correct. The point I am trying to make is, in general, I would rather vote for an honest fool than a brilliant crook. But isn’t “honest politician” an oxymoron, like India-made-foreign-liquor?

I do believe everything isn’t lost. For every thief, most political parties also have some honest leaders. Some of them are capable persons too. One of them happened to be my neighbour once. Let me say a few words about him.

In the early 1990s, a multiple-time chief minister of Kerala, Mr AK Antony lived in a tiny two-storey house which his wife, a bank employee, had built in Thiruvananthapuram. I used to cross his house every day. There were a few sleepy policemen, but no picket, no crowd of favour seekers or hangers-on in front of his house. Once, when Antony was the CM, the state government employees went on a continuous strike. The babus frothed in the mouth shouting slogans in front of the state secretariat, but the no-nonsense CM remained cool. His only point, you-don’t-work-so-it-doesn’t-matter-whether-you-are-in-office-or-outside, turned out to be correct. After 40 days or so, the employees returned to office, tail sadly limping between legs.

Is it too late to redeem the situation in our country? Let’s hope not. In 2014, we can and we must vote for the most honest or the least corrupt politician on the rogues’ list, irrespective of their political affiliation. But what if every one of the vote seekers is a big crook?

Well, the Supreme Court’s verdict yesterday, in which the Election Commission was instructed to add a “None of the above (NOTA)” option on voting machines / ballot papers, shows the way. The people of India must prevent the present rogue government bringing in another law to overturn this ruling! However, even if we presume this ruling will not be challenged by politicians, there is still a glitch.

The honourable Supreme Court hasn’t said what will happen if Mr NOTA wins an election!

Kolkata, 28 September 2013