An email from Joe

I have written a couple of memoirs on my friend Joy Joseph Manimury, who was known and loved as Joe. This morning, as I was cleaning my mailbox, this missive from Joe (dated 10 August 2005) narrowly missed being exiled to oblivion. I think it's worth sharing with my readers. But first, let me give you the background.

Joe wrote this after reading an article of mine in the Statesman. I had written the piece after reading some tall claims in an advert by a mutual fund, an advert in which the copywriters conveniently forgot to mention that lakhs of investors had lost money by investing in their funds earlier.  

I haven’t changed anything much in the mail except deleting some personal details and masking the names of Joe’s wife (C), and two daughters, (A) and (N). 

As I read this again, I laughed out silently several times. And along with silent laughter were invisible tears. Joe needn’t have left us so early. 

Happy reading! 

***

Dear Santanu,

What a pleasant surprise! I read the mail more than a week back but I was in Ernakulam that time and couldn’t reply. But I had half cmpleted a rebuttal to the Statesman but left the draft in N’s computer. Incidentally, the article was really good and C and N enjoyed it very much.

To bring you up to date, A passed her BA History with a creditable 70% … So [she] is in Hyderabad since July 12th. N is in class X now.

C and N are at Ernakulam since 2002. C is in the College of … and drives a fantastic 11 kms to work every day. She is happy, since she is the Head (& tail) of the Dept of English. No office politics like in [her earlier college], no great fear of somebody with influence ‘ousting’ her as the term is, and the students really need her – these talented kids are mostly from rural and rather poor families and can hardly spell their names in English.

Centurion Bank has a new management and a lot f new top executives have joined – deadly combination f Citibank and others. So we all became pariahs and I decided to quit. It took some time to get a job but finally something in Nairobi, Kenya has come up. It is a small bank but I will practically be No.2 and the money is decent considering the country and the distance. What the hell, I ran thru SBT, IndusInd and Centurion salaries regularly and I expect to do the same here too, so it doesn’t make much of a difference. C was quite realistic about it. As she says, I am never there when she has a problem so it doesn’t matter whether I am in Mumbai or Timbuktu. Realism is alright but I wish she hadn’t put so much enthusiasm into it. Anyway she has no plans of joining me immediately. With us, Love at A Distance works better.

Why I wanted to write a rebuttal was this – some time back C had dusted up some share certificates, mutual funds, etc. and given them to me. I took them to Mumbai and promptly forgot about them. Once I decided to go to Kenya, I had a look at them – lng disappeared companies and even funds like Apple Starshare, IDBI Bonds, the famus Mastergain 92, mutual funds bught mainly as tax shelter, but they turned out to be sheltering at my expense. I also had things like Indusind shares ‘allotted’ in staff quota at Rs.45 which promptly stabilized at Rs.11. Anyway when I looked up the prices I had a very pleasant surprise. Mastergain 92 was 19.60! Indusind 77!! Some company called Hexaware which apparently had bought some forgotten company I had invested in, also doing extremely well!!! Mastergain in C’s name came back because the signature differed. By the time we got the bank to attest her signature and re-lodged it, the price was 24. All in all, about 60,000 invested between 92 and 98 is worth 150,000 now. I am cashing them as fast as I can sign. So my advice to all is to invest in stocks more and more and stay invested till I get out.

You will find a lot of missing o’s in this mail. Like all Malayalees and their relations, my computer keyboard also has a problem with O.

How’s Arundhati? And Doel and Tatai? Write in detail. Do yu publish a lot? C does a fair bit of creative writing in Malayalam & English, mostly short stories but couple of one-act plays too. A story of hers had come in Antara Sen’s ‘The Little Magazine’ also, apart from a translation of a Malayalam story by N.S. Madhavan. A story came in an anthology by OUP. 

I am making a cc to Damu also. Poor fellow had tried a lot to get me into his company. Luckily for his reputation, they finally decided not to fill the post now.

Reply in detail.

Joe

P.S.: In case you need anything from Kenya, let me know. I believe spears, drums and shrunken heads are quite cheap there.

Learn English: A fun book of functional language, grammar, and vocabulary

How will this book help you?

If you are someone who needs to use English at workplace or anywhere else, but if you are not confident about using the language, this book is for you.

It has a broad overview of the language that you need to live happily in today’s world. I’ve written it in an informal style, almost in a lighter vein … Actually, learning a new language shouldn’t be a pain in wrong places. On the contrary, it can be more exciting than falling in love.

While I wrote and revised the book, I kept this in mind and tried to make it completely different from the boring grammar and vocabulary text books available in the market. And it is different in other ways too. 

A problem with even very good language text books published from the UK, the USA, Australia, or say Singapore, is that they deal with topics and contexts which our learners cannot relate to. However, in In Learn English ... all the stories and anecdotes relate to India and I have tried to share bits and pieces of the Indian Cultural Heritage. I therefore believe that if you work through this book, you will not only learn English, but also enjoy the process of learning.

The Amazon on-line book store not only sells this book, but also allows you to have a peep into it. You can have look by clicking here.

If the link doesn't work, you can try Flipkart and read some reviews too at this second link. 



Revised versions

I am happy to say that the book has been reprinted twice in the last two years. Before the last reprint, I revised the book again. I believe I have been able to eliminate errors and typos completely now.



The journey of the book

It all began on 26 Jan 2012 with a book proposal to Tata McGraw Hill (TMH). The book is lying on my table right now. It looks fantastic!

Those of you who are in the know of the publishing industry would appreciate that thirteen months is an absurdly short time for bringing out a 464-page book with countless tables and pictures. It has been a pleasure to interact with Amit Kumar, who has been the face of TMH for me. I found Amit and his team competent professionals with a warm human touch. For me, it is an honour to be published by such a famous academic publishing house. Their warmth came as a huge bonus. Thank you TMH.



A vote of thanks

I am indebted to my students, who have taught me how to teach language. Moreover, they gave me confidence as a teacher by speaking and writing English confidently. Thank you dear students.

It has been a privilege to work with my colleagues at the British Council Teaching Centre Kolkata. Superb teachers, they have contributed to the book in many ways. Chitra Velayudh, Poushali Dutta Purkayastha, and Smita Saha have also checked some of the chapters.

I had two teachers while writing the book. Firstly, Prof K A Jayaseelan of the English and Foreign Languages University, Hyderabad. If you find the book error-free or nearly so – which I believe you will – it is largely because of him. Secondly, Ray Mackay, a renowned Scotland based ELT expert. My senior colleague, Krishnadi (Krishna Koyal) introduced me to Ray. I expected Ray to rubbish my book, but instead, he sent me an exceedingly positive and encouraging email. And he pointed out two areas where I had gone seriously wrong. I cannot thank them enough.

Finally my family and a circle of close friends have stood by me, checked the drafts, and sustained my belief that I could do it. Can’t thank them as I am a part of them.

Here are a few reviews that I found at the Amazon site. Cheers!

Not an original piece of writing

A few days ago, I read a poem on a friend’s Facebook wall. It was not an original post, my friend had found it somewhere. The poem was brilliant and ordinary at the same time, because it was a fantastic idea expressed in rather commonplace words. I have made an attempt to rewrite the poem. Let me share it with you and bow to its unknown creator.

Woman

I was born because she was there to hold me within herself, my mother. 

When I was an infant, there was another woman to play with me, my sister. 

When I went to school, there was a woman to show the way, my teacher. 

When I needed shelter, there was a woman to make a home for me, my wife. 

When I was down, there was a woman to gently hold my hand, my daughter. 

When I die, she will be there to take me in, Mother Earth. 

… 

If you are a man, value every woman. 

If you are a woman, be proud to be one.

A note to my students #?: English Vinglish

To make your car tyres last longer, you change their positions periodically – front to back, left to right etc. When I got this done this morning, the mechanic wrote out a bill in a neat legible hand: 

Tyre rotasan – Rs.100

I couldn’t immediately figure out what he meant. But when I did, I felt the bill conveys two important messages. 

Firstly, He didn’t write out the bill in his own language. This means, he belongs to the one third of the world population that prefer to conduct business in English. 

Secondly and quite sensibly, he doesn’t give a damn about the rules of English spelling (or grammar, I am sure). But he has the confidence to communicate in a language that has become the lingua franca of world business. 

And I had to note with a tinge of regret that he uses the English language with a lot more freedom than I do. What is more, he has the ability to create new language like some of the best writers of all times. 

The bill also told me that in the long run, English is going to cover a lot more space in our lives, but English teachers like me will be out of job. Amen!